Archives for March 2013

Quaids Call Off Divorce?

When going through a divorce, you will second guess yourself many times.  For example, Dennis Quaid and Kimberly Buffington-Quaid, have been going through ups and downs and going in and out of separating.  According to Raoul Felder, a celebrity divorce lawyer, a divorce is not final until the judge signs the divorce papers.  That is to say that even if both parties of the marriage signed the divorce papers, it is not finalized until there is a judge’s signature as well.  Felder further explains that “if the judge did not sign the divorce order, then [the couple] can simply say they withdraw it, sign a stipulation to withdraw it and that’s the end of it.”

For the marriage of the Quaids, they have reconciled and separated a couple times already.  According to E! News, Kimberly wanted a divorce because of irreconcilable differences.  However, she and Dennis decided to work together to make their marriage work and withdrew the divorce papers.  It wasn’t before long that Kimberly filed for legal separation from Dennis, then Dennis filed for divorce a month later.

Since the divorce papers are now sitting with the judge, both Dennis and Kimberly have no official way of withdrawing their petitions from the court.  Therefore, the divorce should be finalized between the Quaids.

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Danny DeVito and Rhea Perlman– Back Together

After 30 years of marriage, Danny DeVito, 68, and Rhea Perlman, 64, decided to renew their vows.  However, their decision to walk down the aisle for the second time did not come so easy.  The Hollywood couple was on the fence about their marriage and planned to split up in October of last year.  According to RaderOnline, DeVito’s and Perlman’s announcement to renew their vows 5 months after their separation is a tool to help fix their marriage.

It is a great challenge to save a marriage on the brink of divorce.  The ultimate task is to rebuild the love that once was, which takes “introspection, forgiveness, and a lot of time and effort” (Dr. Phil). For DeVito, he rekindled the romance by “pamper[ing] her with spa treatments and made sure she felt special again” (RaderOnline).  According to Dr. Phil, saving a marriage from divorce requires both you and your partner to participate and hold responsibility to the ups and downs of the marriage.  For the marriage between DeVito and Perlman, a RadarOnline source explains, “Danny kind of took Rhea for granted for a few years and their marriage went stale because of that. They rarely did anything together and he was distracted with filming It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, which meant their marriage took a hit.”  By identifying your problems in the marriage, you can evaluate your relationship and learn what needs to happen to move forward.

You should consider which situations are worth saving or breaking your marriage.  Bill Wear, Jr., a lawyer, minister, therapist, and divorce mediator in Springfield, Mo., suggests that happiness is your own responsibility.  You cannot expect your spouse to be the creator of your happiness; instead, a couple helps one another learn what makes the other happy.  Think about how your goals and outlook on life compares to your spouse’s response.  If there are no parallels, it is unlikely that your marriage can be repaired.  It is very important to be on the same page as your spouse.  Understand their feelings and what caused him/her to feel a certain way about your marriage.  The most important aspect of a successful marriage depends on inner happiness.  If you do not feel that in your marriage, it may be time to look into divorce.

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“Wings” Star Steven Weber and Juliette Hohnen End Marriage

The relationship between Steven Weber and Juliette Hohnen is over.  Seventeen years of marriage and two sons later, Hohnen filed for divorce under “irreconcilable differences” at the Los Angeles Superior Court.  The couple separated in October 2012 then had a divorce filed in February 2013.  Juliette Hohnen, a former MTV executive, is requesting joint legal and physical custody of their sons, Alfie (10) and Jack (12).  Hohnen, a first-time divorcee, is also fighting for spousal support from her soon-to-be ex-husband, Steven Weber, the “Wings” star.  Weber, on the other hand, has been married before and has gone through a divorce with his ex, Finn Carter.

Statistics in the United States show an increase in the divorce rate when there is an increase in divorcees getting remarried.  One reason for the consistent increase in divorce is the unstable condition that a divorced person may be in after his/her divorce.  People tend to take less time to heal their emotional pain in order to spark a new romance with another partner.  By entering into a marriage too soon, the loose ends of a previous marriage will unravel and continue to bring burden on your new marriage.  An article written by Mark Banschick, M.D. titled “The High Failure Rate of Second and third Marriages” include great insight into the reasons for such an increased divorce rate for second and third marriages.  He focuses on the concept of family culture.  Couples who have been married before have “less glue holding the [new] marriage together.”   The sense of family and children play an important role in second and third marriages.  Usually a family is made during a first marriage; and the later marriages have a more challenging time trying to build the connection your first marriage had.  Eventually, people become less ‘committed’ to their future marriages since the sense of family doesn’t hold the same value as it did before.

While this may not be the exact case for Steven Weber and Juliette Hohnen, it may hold truth to an underlying factor of their marriage dismissal.

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Diane Lane and Josh Brolin Divorcing

Diane Lane and Josh Brolin have decided to end their marriage after being together for 8 years.  Their marriage got off to a rocky start when they decided to take a break from each other after only a few months after they wed.  The reason for this break is due to Brolin’s arrest for spousal battery.  Spousal battery is also known as spousal abuse and is seen as a type of domestic violence crime under California law.  But on top of the spousal battery, Brolin experienced two more arrests for a bar fight and public intoxication. 

Since California is a no-fault state, the spousal abuse and alcoholism does not legally factor into whether or not a couple can get a divorce.  The only legal options for a dissolution of marriage is either 1) irreconcilable differences, which have caused the irremediable breakdown of the marriage; or 2) incurable insanity (only upon proof). [California Family Code – Section: 2310].  However, such negative behavior can lead to different outcomes of the divorce.  It is advised that if you are in a relationship that includes domestic violence that you do not go through mediation.  Instead, have the court handle your case so that child custody and visitation rights are properly assigned.  Alcoholism also affects the outcome of child custody because the safety and well-being of the child must be the top consideration.   The court will not award any custody to the parent with a drinking problem.  However, a judge can offer child custody to an alcoholic parent if that parent attends Alcoholics Anonymous meetings regularly.  To ensure that the parent is attending those meetings, a sponsor will be necessary to make sure attendance and behavior are acceptable.

Lucky for Diane Lane and Josh Brolin, no children were conceived between the two of them during their marriage.  While it is unfortunate that their marriage has “run its course,” we wish these two all the best!

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